A Slavegirl Is Centered

During our recent move, everything was turned on its proverbial head. Our routines have been twisted and disrupted, which many of you know can cause me to backslide. I feared the backslide, but I didn't voice the thoughts because I knew the move would be good in the long run. 

For the last fewonths, I have felt the need to defend and justify our dynamic and the way I am treated within the dynamic. I, sadly, allowed the way others saw our dynamic to effect my service and my happiness. 

I endured passive aggressive comments from uninformed individuals who threw around the "a" word towards others to deflect and hide their own abusive treatment of their own spouse. The hypocrisy of someone wanting to be a bedroom slave, and expressing that desire multiple times, but getting angry when the control is exerted or when the Dominant partner decides they know what is best for the bottom. The anger when the bottom partner feels slighted. The attitude was becoming poison to my own dynamic. 

I began doing things it took Master years to retrain my attitude towards, things I never did. I began to act differently, to act like I was better than Master. Like I was too good for the collar. Then, something within me snapped. It was like a light switch was flipped. All in one, it started to go back to what it should have been. Mentally, I found my center, I rediscovered my slavehood. I realized I was suppressing that mental part of me. I took my books off the cloud and put them back on my Kindle, ignoring the dirty looks when I changed the password and stopped allowing my nephew to look over my shoulder at the screen. I pulled out my paper journal and began writing again. I began to SHOW Master the same respect I should have been showing all along. 

Something as simple as chaining my ankle again snapped me back. I attribute chaining again to helping me find my center. That physical connection to Master's bed, literally holding me in place, has helped me find my center and rediscover the place I feel most at home. One step behind Master, to His right, but still beside Him. Under His protection and command. In His heart and on His mind. This is the only place I ever want to be, the safest place in the entire world, where I can be myself and bask in my own pitiful slavehood, and although a slave has nothing of her own, she is the richest person in existence because she is in service to her one true Master.