More Aware

I must admit, I have been more than spoiled over the last few months, being with Master so much. Well, He went back to work almost 2 weeks ago, and I am slowly getting used to Him being gone again. 

I expected a very deep drop when He left, but it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. That, I have to admit, worried me a bit. I mean, if I was with Him for 6 months the way we were together, then suddenly He is gone, back to work, and only a minor drop? Does that make me a bad slave? A weak one since admitting to a drop indicates strength and devotion? Or did I just prepare myself enough that I was ready to face Him leaving without a drop? 

But I think I am now more aware of things as a slave. I find myself consciously taking my hair down during the day. I got used to leaving it down while Master was home because He likes it down, so I find myself consciously making that choice to take it down during the day now. I also find it easier to sleep with it down or in a simple braid. 

Seeing His reaction and knowing He enjoys the length, I have paid even more attention to covering, using the cute bandanas Master has given me over time to add a bit of whimsey to my outfit. But covering has a purpose. It's a modesty thing for me. Master enjoys the full length of my hair, it is just for Him, and I like protecting that privelege for Him. 

I am also more conscious of my modesty with Him not home. I'm more protective of what is His and of the reputation of His property. 

Then there is the bed time rule. After months of spending time at night with Master and never having the same bed time twice, this has been the most difficult rule to go back to, but possibly one of the most important. One of the things that is most vital to my mental well being is a routine. I know this now. Bed time is Master's way of helping me create and keep the routines. So I have set reminders on my phone for bed time, lights out, and wake up. The lights out reminder is also for me to turn off any video I have playing. The best way for me to get a good night's sleep is to actually turn off the TV. I will break that habit before Master comes home again. 

One way Master demonstrated His control was by limiting my cigarette intake. Since I have switched to vaping, this is a little more difficult to control. So I have been trying to make one tank of fluid last 2 days at least. This works to limit my intake even though Master has not given me an official limit. 

Just some rambling as I begin to get ready for bed tonight.