Collars....

Recently, this one was browsing some posts on a popular lifestyle social site and saw a post about a Dominant's feelings on collaring. The post got this one thinking, what does a collar really mean? Has the meaning behind a collar really evaporated as more players have brought them into main stream society? What does wearing a collar mean to this one? What emotions are tied up in the giving and wearing of a collar?
In reality, being given a full, permanent collar by a Dominant is the equivalent of being married. It should be given with the intent of being together until death and beyond. This is why, usually, a full collar is given when the D/s couple is already married or about to be married. In a poly relationship, like the one this one is in, the giving of a collar symbolizes Master's want of a commitment from all members.
As DBSM players have stepped out of the toy box and become more in the open with their lifestyles, the meaning of the collar, at least to those of us who are sincere about it, has not diminished. The trend of the teenagers to wear a dog collar and walk around with black lipstick has not diminished the meaning of a collar given and accepted in love, service, and devotion.
What this one really thinks has diminished the meaning of a collar is fly by night Dominants who give a collar to every submissive who kneels in front of them, no matter how devoted to the Dominant the submissive may be. When a collar is given without thought, communication and contemplation, it is meaningless. It cheapens the collars worn by others in the community.
Before accepting a collar, a submissive should know the Dominant. The submissive should know what is expected of him or her. A Dominant should not present a collar without first being sure the submissive who will be wearing it is ready for the commitment, is ready for what is expected, and, if needed, has been trained.
Unlike a vanilla marriage, where many people pride themselves on still being independent while being married and in love, the submissive will usually make no such claim, in fact, it has been this one's experience, that when a collar is placed around a submissive's neck, the emotional dependence on the Dominant is magnified. When a collar is placed around the neck of a submissive, he or she is symbolically admitting their dependence on the Dominant for emotional and physical happiness.
This one will admit, when she accepted Master's collar at first, she did not know exactly what was expected of her. Partly because Master did not know what He wanted this one to expect, and partly because this one was relying solely on her training from the past instead of requesting Master show her things He prefers. But, as Master became more comfortable with being involved and open within the lifestyle, He realized more what He expected out of this one, and began to teach her.
Several weeks ago, this one committed a few major offenses, which caused her to loose her collar. It was devastating to this one to be stripped of everything in such a way. To go from a full collar to nothing came with an emotional pain this one never knew she was inflicting on Master. Master, in a way, knew that removing the collar from this one was the only way to make her realize the severity of what she did. Removing this one's collar hurt Master as well, this one knows that, and is sorry for causing even more pain to Master. Earning back a training collar for retraining is both hurtful and a reward. It is hurtful, emotionally, because this one knows she had the full privileges of an owned and kept slave, but she squandered them and forgot her place, but rewarding because this one now knows she can earn her place back.
When accepting a collar from Master, this one pledged to Him complete control of her mind, body, heart, spirit and soul. She gave herself completely into the trusted hands of Master. When master put that collar around this one's throat, she gave Him all of her trust, feeling confident she could trust Him to never truely hurt or harm her, emotionally or physically. This one promised to be mindful of His every want and need, His every desire. She promised to sacrifice her own pleasure to satisfy Him, to give Him complete control over her sexual being, her physical being, her emotional being, and her mental being. In giving Master ownership over her everything, this one has surrendered all that she is, was and will be to Master. The collar is a symbol of that surrender, a symbol of that trust, a symbol or that ownership.