Body Image and Alternative Lifestyles

I was reading a journal entry on Fet about someone's feelings on body image in the community. It hit home for me. 

I am always the most nervous about telling a new partner about my weight and build. I am a larger woman, some would call me fat, others thick. I have come to terms with my body though. 

I have had two wonderful lovers who have made me realize I AM sexy, I AM desirable. I have accepted the way I am now. 

One of those lovers still tells me every day He finds me attractive, that I am sexy. My Husband and Master. He shows me that my body is not something to be ashamed of, that every stretch mark, every ounce of extra weight, every flesh dimple, and every scar tells part of my story. 

The other is my ex girlfriend. She still lets me know I am attractive to her. 

They are the only two people I have felt comfortable bearing my soul to in such an intimate and vulnerable way. 

I revel in my body now. I know I am attractive and sexy to others. I see myself as sexy, as a sexual creature, as a person who is desirable. 

Even though I have accepted my body and being a sexual creature that does not mean everyone has. So it is a balancing act, trying to decide when to tell a potential new partner about my size. It's also part of why I have full length pics on Fet. I'm not hiding my body, but I also don't have nudes. 

I am comfortable sharing my body with partners, but not with the world just yet. 

So, why write this now? We are talking to someone who has the potential to be a new partner, but I do not know about how she might react to my size. I don't want to ruin things before they get started, but I also do t want her to think I hid my size when Master expresses a need for total honesty. 

Time

The question was posed in a group for submissives. "How do you spend time with your Dominant? What kinds of things do you enjoy doing together?" It was not specified, but I took this question to mean nonsexual things, quality time while not naked in bed together.

So, how do Master and I spend quality time together? What do we do to stay close, mentally and emotionally? How do we enjoy time together? What constitutes time? Who is to say what counts as time, quality or otherwise? 

Over the years, Master and I have come up with many ways to keep close even when His job takes His a thousand miles away for weeks at a time. The quantity of time physically together is precious and must be spent wisely, attention divided between one on one time together as just Master and slave (some of the sweetest moments, when we are just us, the world ceases to exist and I am just His slave, His woman, in His arms, and it feels like time has stopped), parenting time, and other family or community commitments. So we have needed to get creative when it comes to time together.
When people talk to us, we get looks because they see grown adults who play video games. But, to us, those pixels are so much more than "just a game." Our relationship has played out through pixels over the last few years. I have lost count of date nights spent as our Elvaan characters. The countless nights He has eased me through sub drop by being able to be together in the game.
We have since started playing other games together. An outlet for togetherness. Together we run a clan on Clash of Clans with some friends we have met in the game. The clan gives the sense of community I need at times. It is something we can do together.
That sense of family and occasional need for family is eased by the people in our other game. Even though I have not been playing Underworld Empire as long, I am getting that strong feeling of family and belonging from our empire, they accept my weirdness for what it is and are learning that when I need to be ignored because I am just there for community and family, even if I am just in my own little world.
Of course, there is still phone calls and texts, we have not explored web cams ye, and have only used face time once, but we have ways to be together without those things.

Why Leather?

People see the pride I take in my leathers, the care I show in their upkeep and storage, and the pride in knowing I earned them, and ask, why leather? The leather culture is, historically, a gay male dominated culture. So why would I, a homoflexible, married female identify with the leather community?
Many of us spend a period of time searching for where we belong, where we fit in, where we are the most comfortable. Where we can let our freak flag fly, so to speak.
With the leather community, I have found a place where I am respected for my mind and abilities, where I am accepted, despite my physical differences, despite what makes me different from the average female.
Within the leather community, I have found a place where I can fit in being very protocol driven, I have found a place where a person doesn't look down on you when you say "ask my Master, first," as so many in the general kink community do, even the 24/7 M/s couples. I have found a place where my every kink, no matter what it is, is treated with respect and acceptance, and not horrified shock, as some kinks are even in the general fetish community.
In the world of leather, a person does not have to hide what makes them uniquely them, but rather it is celebrated. Its the fact that, when I say something, it is understood, I don't have to explain it many times over. It is knowing that, when I am introduced to someone who has the title "Master" they have earned it and not just claimed to be a "Master" for status. It is being around "slaves" who know what the title means, and not just playing at it. It is being around "slaves" who don't try to be naughty just to be punished or to test the limits. You see, slaves in the leather community earn that title, too.
It is knowing I can see someone in full leathers and know they share the same pride in them that I do in mine, that they did not just buy them to look cool and fit in, but they know what each and every piece means and how hard it can be to earn them.
So, why leather? Why not?