Tired.....

I try to keep it all in, to not show the hurt. But when a friend betrays the things she has said and turns into what can only be described as a hypocrite, something has got to give. I hate to say this, but maybe it's you and not everyone else. 

Master, Jr, and I left our home and moved here with promises of a better life, more social interaction, more community. But, it didn't happen that way. Things Jr wants or needs are commented and criticized. Things I want to do are eye rolled. Master had to get an over the road job just to get away from it. 

I feel like I have to justify spending money Master approved of me spending by explaining it to her. 

I feel belittled and uncomfortable at "home" and like my family isn't important (because I hear comments every time I'm on the phone with them). 

Right now, I can honestly say, at this moment, I feel worse mentally, emotionally, and socially than I ever did living in the trailer. At this point, if I got a phone call saying there was a job and a Uhaul reserved, I would move back to the house Master's step father owns and pay rent in a heartbeat. 

I am a home body, I don't like going out all the time, but I'm never "home" now and I am so uncomfortable. 

I just.... I want to go home.....