Crossing the fine, fine line.....

There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.

And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore.
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for.
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door
And walk away...
Oh...

There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.


This song got me thinking. Kate Monster is right, you know. Leave it to a puppet to describe exactly how I have been feeling about my former sister. She has been able to walk in and out of my life for as long as I can remember.
Was it worth the uphill climb? Sure, at the time, but, now, no. At this point, though, I still hold that small flame of love for her, and, I think I always might. But I have to look at her, the relationship, and the situation for what it is. She was able to walk away from both of us without a word. Is it the truly masochistic girl in me who keeps hoping she will walk back into our lives again, knowing it would lead to nothing but more pain and heartache?
Were we nothing more then an experiment for you? A trial to see if you could really still live the life? Or did you just want to see if those feelings were still there? Did you ever really love Master the way you claimed? If so, why was it so easy to walk away without a word?
Do you even know what it is you want out of life? I tried to convince myself that the shallow persona you expressed was just a lie. That wasn't the you I knew. But, you have changed.
I hope you know what you have done, who and what you have thrown away. You hurt Master, you hurt me.
I had myself convinced we had the fairy tale. The love of my life comes back into it and falls in love with my Husband and we all live happily ever after. It seemed too perfect, I should have known it was just one more lie you perpetrated.
We never even got the "Goodbye."
"And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore..... For my own sanity, I've got to close the door, and walk away..."
I guess that is the point of this whole entry. I just have to get a few things out. I hope you do read this, although I doubt it. I even asked Tony to mention reading it the next time he speaks to you. I hope you do, just to know that, despite your leaving without a word and the deception involved in the last few weeks of the relationship, Master and I are still together, still happy, and stronger then ever.
You threw us away. And, now, I have to close the door and walk away. You blew your last shot at me. If Master will forgive you is His call, not mine. He knows how I feel about you.
Closing the door is the only thing I can do to finally be able to fully move on. To stop comparing every woman I meet to you, to stop trying to measure every relationship with the same yardstick you created. It is not fair to myself, to Master, or to anyone else who might be in our lives. I have to stop letting the hurt of the past ruin the present.
I know it is not fair to expect the same person I fell in love with 15 years ago to be there, things and people change. But, I think the fundamental basic person you were has changed, and that is a shame. I wish the world could see the C I saw, knew, and loved.
Goodbye, C....