Anyone else ever notice that the more people in your life, the more alone you can feel? I don't know, maybe I am just having a moment of weakness and selfishness.
Right about now, I just want someone to scoop me up in their arms and make all the haunting visions go away. I didn't think finally being rid of him would be this difficult. I guess it is just the release of all the pent up frustration over the situation and the relief that he will never be able to hurt me again. It could be the trepidation as I approach the next few steps. I really do not know.
I didn't sleep well last night, so the fact that I am tired just adds to the situation, I guess.
And yet, and I know Master doesn't like when I say this, I can not find the emotions to hate him. I don't know if I can't find the emotions, courage, strength, or just the effort to hate him. I am trying to ignore the "he just needs help" or "he has daddy issues, he has mommy issues" thoughts. No need to make excuses for him. He is nothing more then a woman beater. There is no excuse for that.
I don't really know the whole point of this post, lol, except to get some feelings out and to vent about feeling so alone in a world full of people. I just need Master to take me up in His strong arms and tell me the he can't hurt me, or some sister cuddle time to make me feel better, or something.
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