new beginnings

The new life has started. Many of the protocols put in place that first night have just been prior training taking over. I am keeping a paper journal as well during this journey because, despite the relative anonymity of the internet, there are still emotions and thoughts I would rather not post right now.
Master was reading my paper journal and something He liked was my surrender of myself to the retraining. He has requested I refer to myself as this one when in private or around other Dominants to remind me of my place. This one does not mind it. In fact, it shows Master is really willing to train this one to be the slave He wants, needs, and deserves.
Master also commented on this one's mention of her undeserved sense of entitlement and seeming forgetfulness that she lived in virtual luxury compared to others in her position. He asked this one why she thought she had these feelings. After trying to reason out her usual response, that it was all because she got used to the freedom from when Master was on the road but that really wasn't an acceptable reason. This one does not really know why she acts like that. It could be that the reputation from the past has made her cocky, the Living Legend who, once broken, could do no wrong. It could e that our relationship was established as vanilla for so long. It could be any number of things.
This one thinks one of the hardest things right now is that Master has started to be strict. Even with rules and protocols this one set into motion on her own. The other part that is hard that this one brought onto herself has been that Master has been very guarded with His feelings. This one understands His reasoning for it but it still is hard remembering He really does love this one but won't say it because it hurts Him to say it after what has happened. This one can't blame Him for that.
Last night this one felt lower then a brand new Gorean slave. Even though she brought all this on herself, this one had forgotten the emotional aspects of slave training, they are strong without loving one's Master, but the emotional involvement is much more intense when one loves her Master, and more so when emotionally broken. It may take some time but this one feels she can get through it with the help and guidance of her Master.
Thank You Master for allowing this one to serve You. Thank You Master for giving this one another chance.
Thank You Master for reminding this one how good she really had it. Thank You Master for giving this one a glimmer of hope. Thank You Master for allowing this one the honor of filling her role by servicing You and being used for Your pleasure Master. Bringing You pleasure brings meaning to this one's sexual existence.