This is one of the questions I was able to save from my file because I had the email saved in my inbox. This is from a reader in her mid 30's who was asking about an argument she had with her partner.
"My girlfriend and I have been arguing a lot lately. We have been together for almost a year and I want to meet her family, but she won't introduce me to them because they do not know she is a lesbian. How do I tell her to choose between telling them about us and not being together? Is that fair of me to ask her to do? "
This is a very good question. And it brings up an interesting issue. If your girlfriend is arguing with you that she does not want to introduce you to her family because she has not told them she is a lesbian, that may be because she does not think they will accept her sexuality. She would know how best to handle her family. If you can act like you are platonic friends and nothing more in front of her family, then she should at least introduce you to them as a friend. If she is, on the other hand, "out" to her family and has not introduced you to them after a year together, then there may be a problem. It is never really a good idea to ask a lover to make a choice between you or their family. Someone will almost always inevitable get hurt, usually the person making the choice as well as, more often then not, the one forcing the choice to be made. Hang in there, hopefully things will get better and your partner will feel she can be open and honest with her family.
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