Master notices....

I guess, as a slave, I really didn't realize just how much Master does notice. Things He doesn't answer doesn't mean He doesn't notice or that He doesn't want done. Last night, He found out that I am being more strict with the slave rituals and routines because of some trouble i had gotten into. I find myself straying from the rituals and routines that make me, as a slave, more comfortable and feel more like an obedient slave. This lax attitude has led me to getting into trouble occasionally and harboring feelings of complacency. So Master found out that I have decided, on my own, to be more strict about the slave routines and rituals. I wasn't going to say anything to Master because I figured He either didn't notice or was inconvenienced by the texts about following the rituals and I didn't want to bother Him. So, I just didn't mention it when I took it upon myself to make them more strict.

When Master found out about my intentions, He called me out on changing things without His permission, a big slave no no.

Last night was when I was told how important it is to Master that I follow my slave rituals, that I tell Him when I go to bed on time, when I tell Him I am following the rules. He told me He looks forward to those texts at 10:59 telling Him good night, because it tells Him I am obeying the rules even when He is not home, when He is home and sees me up and about when He gets up, it reminds Him that I am following the rules and doing what I am supposed to do.

As a slave, I don't expect Him to comment, I don't expect Him to say anything. I allowed myself to think that He was getting annoyed, that He was just ignoring the texts, what I really should have done is ask Him if I was annoying Him, if He wanted me to continue with the texts, continue with telling Him that I was following the rules without specifically telling Him I was.

I think that, now that I know He likes getting those texts, that I know He wants to know I am following the rules and obeying the structure and schedule He wants me to follow, I will be more studious about sending Him the texts, about getting up on time over the weekends, about going ot bed on time, about fettering my ankle at night, and about keeping myself to the slave grooming He expects.

It was one of those little discussions that slaves need every so often to realize their Master is proud of them, is happy with their service. I don't need the pride expressed all the time, but every so often, I do.

I guess, deep down, without even realizing it, I was feeling less slave like because, in the inner recesses of my slave mind, I see the attention being paid to my slave sister's training, and, in a way, I was a little jealous of the pride she is shown for the little things that are expected of us, that are new to her, but are easy for me, because I have been Master's slave for so long. I had, somewhere along the line, forgotten that Master's pride in me is there, it is evident, even without me knowing it, in the example I set for my slave sister, in how He encourages my slave sister to ask my advice. Even His not telling me what to do daily or His not mentioning the little thing He notices is a point of His pride in me because He doesn't have to constantly remind me.

Forgetting these little things contributed to me feeling slightly neglected, which I, as a slave, allowed my slave's blood and my slave's pride to not mention to Master until it all came to a head. Now, though, I realize that not mentioning the things He notices, not mentioning the pride, is not neglect, it is simply Master being proud of His slave and knowing His slave will function well and will obey while He focuses on the training of another. It was not a slight towards me, it was simply me misinterpreting His actions. If He was ignoring the texts or annoyed by them, He probably wouldn't have answered them at all, He would have spoken up and told me to stop.