The FDA has just released a statement saying a shipment containing 9 million jackrabbit style vibrators sold in sex shops and on the internet between 1990 and 2009 contain high quantities of a radio active material that, when inserted in the vagina, will lead the user to continue reading nonsense posts on an internet forum and curse the person who wrote them while hiding a grin and trying not to laugh.
Owners of these hazardous bedroom enhancers are asked to immediately take them out and, after replacing the batteries, attempting to use them and see if they cause you to read any nonsense posts on internet forums. If this does happen, you are asked to put down the enhancement tool and report it to any other users who also read internet forums to warn them. No further action is required. Once you have passed on the information to others, the radioactive effect will slowly wear off on its own, we hope.
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