Master has been so awesome in indulging what I have come to call "Kitten Me." In His doing so, I have realized how big a part of my true persona Kitten Me really is. It is almost an embarrassment to say how much I enjoy the thought of being treated like a kitten in some areas, but the idea and the yearning is there.
I think that is why I had the "emo" episode yesterday and why offering to lock Kitten Me back in the cage she resided in for so long effected me so much.
I find myself drawn more to acting like Kitten Me when I am alone. I curl up on the bed more often when I am alone, in the hour between bed time and lights out. I dream of Master taking a whole day and treating me like His kitten, petting and playing. I imagine what it would be like for Master to have me curl up on a pet bed on the floor while we watch TV or curl up in His lap like a kitten while He is on the computer or on the phone. I even find myself wondering about how it would feel to be put into a kennel at night, which, I admit, is more puppygirl behavior, but it is also petgirl.
I think of how it would feel if He had me, in the privacy of our bedroom, drink like a kitten out of a bowl or even eat like one off a plate on the floor without the use of a fork and knife. I don't know where these feelings or desires came from or what sparked their sudden emergence.
I imagine Him putting a real kitten collar around my throat instead of the play collar I now wear. I, even now, sleep curled up on the bed as if I was a kitten. I long for Him to allow me to fully act as one, crawling around on the floor naked, or purring contentedly in His lap or by His side on the couch.
Master asked me yesterday, if I am a kitten, then why do I not like cats but get along with our real dog? I came up with an answer right away that I do not think was the real answer. I told Him I think I see real cats as a threat but that our dog is not a threat to me. But, if I am honest, I think the dislike of real cats is not that simple. I don't know why, but I do not like real cats. It would be easier if I can say I was bitten or had a bad experience with a real cat, but, truth be told, I have not spent enough time around real cats to have an honest opinion of them or why I don't like them.
I do know there is a time and a place for Kitten Me and for me the woman. That is not the issue.
I would love it if Master decided to allow Kitten Me to come out to play, fully, even if it was as a reward for good behavior. I have thought about setting up a "Kitten Corner" in our room, complete with blankets as a pet bed and food/water dish, but I feel that might be too much, too quickly. We even have a spare kennel that can be set up in our room should Master agree to allow Kitten Me to play, fully.
I have always had an affinity for being on the leash, and maybe that is part of my enjoyment of pet play, even though, again, that is more puppygirl. Maybe I am a mix of kitten/puppy, I don't know.
Just looking at my life, it is obvious to others that I am more like a kittengirl then even I realized in the past, and it took Master asking me questions to realize it. My go-to Halloween costume is a sexy kitten, there is the whole Cats thing, I purr when I am happy (and sometimes I don't even realize I am doing it), I stretch like a cat does, I am drawn to cat like toys when looking at new play things, I married a cat person (another reason I don't like real cats, maybe? I, deep down, want to be the only kitten Master plays with?).
I don't know what to do about Kitten Me sometimes. Do I ask Master if Kitten Me can sleep in the bed with Him when He is home? Do I reserve sleeping as Kitten Me for only while He is gone? Do I ask Him if Kitten Me can come out to play as a reward? I really do like the idea of a Kitten Corner, but how would Master react to it? When I make the bed, I sometimes imagine the blanket being folded at the bottom of the bed is a Kitten Me bed and curl up on it when I am watching TV at night.
I feel so comfortable when Master does allow me to act like Kitten Me when we are together and so at peace when I allow Kitten Me to come out when I am alone.
I just want to curl up and purr when I have the opportunity. I think Kitten Me is coming out so often and so strongly because she was repressed for so long, locked behind the bars of her cage for so many years, and now that the cage is unlocked and the door flung open, the kitten inside me is running wild, itching for the space and ability to play she was so long denied.
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